


Impulses and Transformations

by LawrVert



Category: Powder (1995)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Body Worship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Jeremy is 20, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, No Underage Sex, Touch-Starved, because jeff goldblum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 08:39:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13210071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LawrVert/pseuds/LawrVert
Summary: Three years later, Jeremy "Powder" Reed is returned to earth by lightning and reunited with one of the only people who showed him kindness, Donald Ripley.





	Impulses and Transformations

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Eriathalia for betaing and sharing the Goldblum love!

Rain poured down in thick rivulets, threatening to flood the door of the tiny diner where Donald Ripley huddled in a booth far too small for his long limbs, nursing his third cup of coffee as a red pen held in his long, slender fingers made check marks or Xs on a stack of Physics midterms. Each time the dingy door opened, gusts of wind threatened to scatter the exams, forcing him to use his empty coffee cups as paperweights. A particularly innovative, if altogether incorrect answer, brought a bright smile to his lips, leading him to award creativity points. Always a favorite among students for his easygoing manner and his enthusiastic science demonstrations, the tall, tanned man was also the crush of many who would giggle and smile when he passed them in the halls. His smile was effortless and undeniably charming, though his they had been rare for a time. He loved his teaching job at the Manhattan prep school, but still had to contend with the ridiculously steep rent for his tiny apartment and a teacher’s wages. In face, most of the high schoolers’ cars cost more than his salary for an entire year. 

In the cramped room, the sound of thunder was barely audible over the rush of traffic and construction. Realizing he was lost in a daydream, he only looked up when a man wearing a fedora and a threadbare suit came into the diner wearing a terrified expression. Frozen with his mouth agape for a moment, Donald removed his reading glasses, rubbed his eyes and stood up, grasping the table for support, nearly overturning his coffee in the process. Several of the customers stared at the new arrival’s albino coloring and bald head, then quickly went back to their meals and conversations, paying his odd appearance no more attention.

Impossible--he had seen the young man die, chased after him desperately, even as he watched the bolt of lightning strike him, Donald had still tried to reach him, giving up only when the extraordinary boy was gone. Somehow, his former student and friend was there--real and alive and looking only just a little older than the last time he saw him. 

“Jeremy….?” HIs voice was shaking and came out far too soft, but somehow the younger man heard and looked up appearing just as shocked to see him sitting there. 

Still possessing that almost preternatural shyness and the habit of averting his eyes, the pale man appeared to be considering running out of the cafe, until his former teacher smiled and motioned for him to sit down. “Jeremy--Don’t be afraid. No one will hurt you here. Sit down...please.” 

Still wary, his eyes darted around the room, looking for any threat before giving the older man a bashful smile. “Mr. Ripley….it’s good to see you.” 

Resisting the urge to hug him tightly and knowing it might be too much for the man to bear, the tanned  man reached out a hand to brush his forearm lightly, then smiled again. “I don’t know how...I don’t know that..ah..that it matters. I thought..we all thought.. that you were dead.”  
Jeremy shook his head. “Not dead. Just transformed. “

Suddenly, comprehending his words and returning to teaching mode, Donald grinned and replied, “Energy is never created or destroyed...it is just transferred or transformed…” 

“Exactly.” When he removed his sunglasses, the fluorescent lights caused the younger man to squint his pale, violet eyes.

Regarding him sadly as he leaned back in his chair, the older man found himself brushing his thumb very lightly over the back of his former student’s hand as he spoke of the past. “You  were in so much pain here...why come back? As energy..you could go anywhere..see anything.” 

Eyelids fluttering at the light and pleasant touch, the younger man slowly responded in kind, hand curling around Donald’s larger one and shaking it gently with an amused smile. “It was like being part of everything….but..there were things I missed here. There was still so much to learn.

“I..ah..I don’t know about that, Jeremy. You’re a genius. Not much I could teach you.” He laughed, a warm and infectious laugh that caused the man facing him to smile. 

“Maybe not about science...but you were always my favorite. Everyone’s favorite.” Still holding his former teacher’s hand, he allowed a pleasant tingling warmth to flow from him to Donald, raising some of the hairs on the other’s arms and his head and causing him to shiver and smile as he had so many years ago.

The dark haired man’s voice was trembling a little when he replied. “I remember this…” 

A frown crossed the pale face and there was a sadness in the violet eyes. “You feel guilty. You...you have feelings you don’t understand for me. You’re worried I’m too young.” Letting go of his hand, he quickly replied. I’m 19 now and I’m not your student anymore.” 

“Jeremy..stop...it..ah..it just wouldn’t be right…” With a regretful expression, the dark-haired man moved to leave, gathering his papers, but was stopped by a hand tugging on his sleeve.

“Why? Because I’m ugly?” Sadly, the young man looked at the floor and Donald felt his heart break again. 

“No, Jeremy. You’re not ugly. Not even close.”Sitting back down and leaning in, he thought for a moment and then replied. “There are fashion designers here who design whole campaigns around people who are different--uniquely beautiful like you.” 

“You don’t have to lie to me,” the other replied with a frown. 

“Hey, I’m not lying.” Holding out his hands, the kind-hearted teacher continued. “Do that thing again...ah...the thing where you read my mind.” 

Placing pale hands in the larger tan ones, Jeremy concentrated on picking up his friend’s thoughts, eyes widening as he realized the truth of his words. 

Letting go before his thoughts betrayed less appropriate thoughts, the tall man smiled and began to gather his things again, this time in earnest. “I really do have go now...ah...I will be so late for class. “ 

Following him to the door, Jeremy asked “So...you’re still teaching?” Offering him a bright smile, he said softly “I’m glad.” 

“Yeah the Eastside Preparatory School. I have class until three today.” Putting on his coat, he stopped, suddenly worried. “Do you have somewhere to stay? Somewhere safe?”  

“I was staying at the hostel up the street. They mostly leave me alone and don’t ask too many questions.” Slipping on his sunglasses, the younger one looked up at the sunlight breaking through the clouds. 

“You can stay with me until you find an apartment.” The words were spoken before he could even think. 

“Really?” 

“Yes. It isn’t much, but the couch is comfy. Meet me at the school at three.” The bright and infectious smile the other offered him warmed his heart. 

Almost late to class, Donald was pleased to find the students actually behaving. For the amount their parents paid for tuition, he imagined most of them knew they had to. The teenagers quickly found their seats without him having to ask. There was much gagging and overly dramatic groaning as the class was tasked with dissecting frogs that day. Some of the more sensitive students had elected computer models and were huddled with headphones at the computer stations in the back of the classroom. As their professor walked among them, offering help and answering questions, he couldn’t help but remember how quiet Jeremy had been in his classes, how he had tried to draw the sheltered boy out, encourage him to participate and show his unique and profound intelligence. 

Donald couldn’t wait for the three o’clock dismissal bell to ring, for the opportunity to see the person who had changed his life forever. Lingering in the shade of an canopy and trying not to stand out, Powder waited, reading a dog-eared book and occasionally looking around to make sure there was no danger. 

“Are you ready? Do you have anything you need to get before we go?” Looking around, he watched as the younger man shouldered a backpack and shrugged before responding, “Nothing except this.”   

The older man frowned for a moment, but his smile quickly returned as he thought of how he intended to change that. Almost embarrassed as he showed Jeremy his tiny apartment, Donald was full of nervous quirks--sweeping gestures, fidgeting with his shirt, biting his lip as he hastily explained “It isn’t much, but..it’s what I could afford in the city...I’m..ah..sorry you have to sleep on the couch.” 

Wandering through the small space, touching the photos on the walls and the mementos placed on the desk, Jeremy smiled. “It’s perfect.” 

Once they had ordered pizza and talked for a long time, the older man excused himself to take a shower. Noting that his host sang very loudly but in a deep, pleasant voice, his guest had suppressed a laugh and settled on the couch. By the time the other returned from the shower, Jeremy had fallen asleep. Carefully, his former teacher covered him with a blanket, tucking it around him gently to avoid waking him. 

In the morning, dressed in his running shoes and sweats he had brought the drowsy young man a cup of coffee and a change of clothes. “Good morning. I’m..ah..going to go for a run in the Park. I thought you might like to come with me...I might be a little slow though.” The dark-haired man stretched, unaware that a few inches of his stomach were exposed, and sat on the arm of the couch. 

Yawning, his guest took the warm mug and downed it quickly. “Thanks...yeah. Give me a few.” Although he was always wary of crowded places, he couldn’t pass up an opportunity to spend time with his former mentor. Taking the pile of clothes, he quickly found the small bathroom and dressed in the borrowed sweatpants and loose fitting t-shirt, returning quickly to join him. 

As they walked down to the park and started their jog passing nannies pushing prams, dog walkers and businessmen taking shortcuts to work, Jeremy received a few stares, but mostly the people they passed ignored them. 

“So, Jeremy...do you have a girlfriend...ah..someone special?” Falling into step with his friend, the taller man kept looking over at him anxiously.

“No. It’s...I have a few friends at the library, but it takes a while for people to get used to me. People (many) are afraid of what they don’t understand.” The once isolated man stopped to stare in wonder at the zoo’s clock with stone animals, and at the children’s carousel, he stopped and closed his eyes a moment, a small smile on his face. 

Touching his shoulder, Donald asked. “Hey..are you alright?” 

“They’re so happy...I can feel it. For a moment I wondered how it would feel to be so carefree. I never had that.” 

Regarding him sadly, the older man squeezed his shoulder. “I’m sorry. Every child deserves that. You...you can’t go back, Jeremy, but you can be happy. I want to help you be happy in any way that I can.” 

Shaking off the momentary sadness, his pale companion suddenly took off at a run. “Race you!” 

“Wait..Jeremy!” Laughing, the teacher followed him, catching up to him at a large willow tree, then immediately leaning down to catch his breath. “Some of us are not nineteen anymore.” 

The pale man’s answering grin suddenly turned into a deep frown as distant thunder sounded. Looking up at the sky and then back at him, his friend tugged him along in the direction of his apartment at a fast pace. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.” The rain started too soon, soaking their clothing so they sought shelter under a stone bridge. They stared at each other, both laughing at the other’s wet clothes. Jeremy reached forward and ran a hand through Donald’s wet hair as water from the overhang flowed over his face. The older man watched the way the droplets fell from his friend’s almost translucent lashes and leaning very close, pressed his lips very softly to Jeremy’s. Fearing the other would be offended or even repulsed, he quickly drew back again. “I..I’m sorry..I” His words were silenced by the other responding in turn, this time kissing him sweetly and slowly and sending him a feeling of intense happiness with perhaps a touch of frustration that it had taken him so long. His large tan hand cupped the back of Jeremy’s neck, stroking it softly as he answered the feelings with love and acceptance, knowing the other’s extraordinary empathy would allow him to hear his thoughts. When the two men broke apart, the pale man blushed, the faint color prompting his friend to stroke his cheek ever so tenderly, then draw him into a careful embrace. They huddled under the bridge together until the rain stopped, the smaller man leaning on the larger one, fingers intertwined. 

Even when they ate breakfast at a small diner a short time later, they couldn’t help but touch hands throughout the meal. While Donald was amused at first by how Jeremy devoured the eggs, toast, and hashbrowns, he soon felt a pang of guilt realizing he might not have grown up with enough to eat, locked away from prying eyes in his grandparents’ small basement. In the end, he offered the other half of his own plate. 

Afraid of chasing the still fragile man away, the teacher with the gentle soul did not attempt to kiss him or press for more contact than Jeremy was ready for. It was a few days later before he visited him at the library, attracting a few stares and whispers from the mostly elderly spinster librarians who glared at him as his long limbs brushed a stack of books, knocking them over in his eagerness to find Jeremy. After locating the younger man back in the stacks shelving books, he managed to get his attention from where he stood grinning on the other side of the shelf where the other man worked. Catching his attention and the other’s surprised smile, he walked around to the other side. 

Looking at the title of the book he just held in his hand, his handsome partner said. “That’s a good one. I haven’t read that in years.” 

“What are you doing here?” the shy man whispered. 

“I thought I could come by and take you to lunch today. Am I embarrassing you?” 

Shaking his head, Jeremy put a finger to his lips to silence him and laughed. “No..it’s a good surprise.” 

“And how about this?” Leaning in with a smile, he pecked his cheek sweetly. The younger man’s cheeks burned and he scanned the library for any sign that the older librarians might be scandalized. 

“It...it was…” Unable to finish the thought, the young man smiled shyly. “I’m just not used to it.” 

Offering his arm with a broad grin, he led Jeremy out of the stacks and into the main library. Once they were outside, he wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “I promise to be a gentleman and wait to kiss you properly until we get home.” 

Over the next few weeks, they became more comfortable with each other. His older partner...boyfriend seemed somehow to juvenile, too shallow..took every opportunity to hug him, kiss him, or cuddle up beside him as he read on the couch. The withdrawn man’s eyelids still fluttered at this sort of contact, so rare and precious,like water to a man wandering in a desert.  

It was Jeremy who eventually brought up the idea of taking the next step. Donald had been overjoyed and also sort of terrified at the idea. Afterall, he knew that the wrong move could shatter the sheltered and often mistreated man. Sitting together and finishing projects for work, Jeremy had suddenly asked. “If we were to..to go a bit farther, would you..would you want to?” 

Shocked, the teacher gripped his pen, almost to the point of breaking it and forced his racing heart to slow so he could avoid saying the wrong thing. “Jeremy..I..I would..ah... like that very much, but..are you sure you want to do this. It’s a big step. You don’t have to...I mean..I don’t expect that of you.” 

“Well...it’s something people share who love each other and you’re the first person I’ve ever loved….I want you to be my first.” He shrugged and smiled. 

“I...if that’s what you want….I would..ah..be honored.”  

They quietly slipped into their bedroom and took their time trading kisses and caresses for a while. Donald would never rush these moments. He wanted more than anything for Powder--for Jeremy to feel loved, to realize how much this meant to him as well as the younger man.

The room was dim, with only one soft light glowing. His guest wanted it that way and Donald had obliged, wanting him to feel comfortable. He turned his back while the younger man undressed, though he caught small glimpses of pale skin and defined muscles. Turning back to face him once Jeremy was settled under the covers, he smiled and started to undress, watching how the shy man’s eyes looked away and his cheeks flushed the faintest pink.

“It’s alright. You can look at me. I..ah..I don’t mind.” Removing the shirt and revealing his fine chest, he suddenly pointed to a scar on his shoulder. “I have..ah..this from when I fell riding my bike as a kid.”  Slipping off his trousers he bent to point out a crescent shaped mark on his ankle. “This one was from cutting myself on a rock hiking out west.  “And this”..his hand brushed his stomach which had just the smallest amount of padding over the muscle. “You see, Jeremy, Not perfect...ah..nowhere near perfect..but unique to me.” Smiling warmly, he sat on the edge of the bed, wearing only his light blue boxers. 

“You look perfect to me...Your skin...it’s a beautiful color.” One pale hand stretched out from underneath the blankets that shielded the rest of the shy man’s form from view. Sensing his intent, he climbed into the bed beside him and caught the hand, pressing it to his chest, eyes fluttering from the heavenly feeling of Jeremy’s hand tentatively exploring it. 

Watching the way his hand withdrew to rest under the blankets again, he softly reassured him, “You don’t need to hide. Let me see you….please?” 

There was a frightened, almost panicked look in his eyes for a second as he remembered being bullied, restrained and stripped naked before the eyes of cruel boys that feared him and mocked him. The moment passed and slowly, he pushed back the sheet. 

“Look at you….you look handsome...and beautiful...as beautiful as a marble statue.” Smiling, he took in the rippling lean muscles of his abdomen, strong arms, chiseled jaw, and the haunting violet eyes. “Don’t be afraid...I’d never hurt you.” Slowly he reached out, touching his cheek, stroking the outline of his jaw, massaging his neck and upper back. The touches were comforting and more gentle than anything the young man had ever felt. Caressing his chest and abdomen, Donald felt the muscles trembling under the soft touches, then frowned when he heard the sobs. 

“Jeremy?--what is it? I just want you to feel loved. We don’t have to do anything more.” 

“I...I want this..but..sometimes it’s too..too much.” Hiding his tears, he rolled away from the contact of the warm, large hands. 

“Shhh..Gently, the dark-haired man turned him back, wiped his tears, and enfolded him in a gentle hug. “You lived without this for so long…” Cradling the back of his head and stroking it gently with one hand, he whispers. “I can understand why it’s overwhelming...to be touched..ah..to be held. We have time to take things as slow as you want.”

Nuzzling his neck, the young man whispered, “I’m sorry. I wish I could be normal for you.” 

Shaking his head, the dark-haired man replied gently, “Normal..normal is boring. You..you’re special...you have gifts and a heart..and..and an intelligence that is far beyond anyone..even the greatest geniuses. Still holding him gently, he whispered, “I have an idea...this time...you touch me. It might make you feel more comfortable to be in control..and..ah..your touch feels wonderful.” The smile was bright as he shifted to allow the pale hands to explore his body, bringing a warm, tingling feeling of bliss as they traced his firm chest with its small patches of hair, the flat stomach, and his broad shoulders. The tentative fingertips tracing his spine caused his eyelids to flutter and his toes to curl. “Oh...Jeremy..that is…” In a moment of near-ecstasy, the deep voice trailed off. 

The strong yet gentle hands caressing Donald’s chest stopped for a moment and the pale man smiled. “Is it good?” 

“Oh, yes..different than anything I’ve ever felt.” Laughing in pure joy, the teacher hugged him close. “Your touch makes me feel better than I have in years.” 

“I think it would be alright for you to touch me again now.” The younger man rested his head against his partner’s chest, listening to the older man’s racing heart. 

“I promise. I’d never hurt you, Jeremy,” the older man reassured as he gently caressed the smooth, heated skin of his cheek. Shifting them to their sides, Donald trailed kisses down Jeremy’s neck, pausing to nuzzle the hollow of his throat. The younger man gasped, his cheeks flushing a light pink shade which Donald thought utterly endearing.

“Does it feel pleasant?” He asked while one of his large hand skimmed the soft skin along Jeremy’s flanks, though he frowned at the way he could feel the other’s ribs protruding under his fingers.

Catching the change of expression, the pale man pulled back and sighed sadly. “You think me repulsive after all” he mumbled, the words barely above a whisper.

Donald shook his head. “No! No...why would you uh…why would you think that” Carefully he cupped Jeremy’s cheek in his palm. “What I see is a very special man worthy of being loved.”  
Slowly his thumb traced a high cheekbone.

“But your expression” the other started, but was quickly cut off by a finger across his lips.  
“Shhh.” the older one hushed him “I was worried for a moment.”

“Worried?” Jeremy asked, confusion apparent in his voice. 

Donald nodded. “Because you are so awfully thin. Always have been, but I wondered…”

“Wondered what?” a shadow crossed Jeremy’s features. 

“Whether you were well taken care of. If you had enough to eat or…” the older one shook his head. “I am being too dramatic. Forgive me.”

Jeremy shook his head. “You…” he started, then bit his lip nervously “You care.” He smiled up at the older man bashfully. 

“Yes!” Donald beamed, his grin seemingly lighting up the whole room. “Yes Jeremy. I care. I care about you deeply.” After hesitating for just a moment, the older man leaned down to capture the other’s lips in a chaste and lingering kiss. It felt as if an electric current was flooding his whole body, leaving a pleasant tingling in its wake. 

“Wow. Did you uh...did you feel that too?”

“Yes.” The pale man nodded knowingly. 

“Ah…” Donald chuckled “You zapped me or I zapped myself just like...just like back then.”

“Maybe” Feeling a lot more at ease, the younger man’s face broke into a wide grin, an expression that caused Donald’s heart to skip a beat. Without further ado he gathered the pale man into a tight embrace which the other returned with just as much affection. 

“See?” The older man mumbled into Jeremy's ear “I am being sincere”

The younger one nodded and closed his eyes in bliss as soft lips began tracing the skin of his bald head with feather light kisses. “Would you...would you show me what it means to be loved. I...I think the concept is…” He grasped for the right words but they wouldn't come to him.

“If that is still what you wish for” Donald’s eyes were wide and open, showing nothing but genuine concern and a deep love.

“I do. Please?” Jeremy asked nervously. 

The older man inclined his head. “I promise to take good care of you.”

“I know you will” the younger man replied and touched the tips of his fingers to Donald’s cheek. 

As he went on exploring his newfound love’s body, Donald Ripley swore to himself to make the other forget any kind of wrong and pain he had suffered and fill his new life with memories of acceptance and belonging. Between kisses, caresses, and content sighs he made it his goal to put the younger man’s needs first, bringing them up to the highest point of pleasure and holding him close as they came down from the heights together in the end.

After, basking in the afterglow, they did not speak for a long time but curled around each other feeling drowsy and content. The taller man found a way to comfortably arrange their limbs yet maintain the closeness Jeremy so desperately needed then resting one of his hands on the smaller man’s side, he held him until they both fell asleep.


End file.
